on the joy of watching my coworker eat lunch-- the rumpus
Being a woman feels like a test in denial. How much can you live without? Can you make due without access to healthcare, or bodily autonomy? Can you watch your coworker chow down on a hoagie, and survive on another walk around your cube and a couple licks of chapstick? I am sick of wanting and not taking... Joy is an act of resistance. Indulging in happiness is a form of protest. Eating is an act of defiance. My coworker’s lunches are nothing if not indulgent. I can’t see his face, but I imagine him beaming with every forkful, untouched by the restraints of corporate culture, expectation, or clogged arteries
what's up with going down?-- talk tabu
“Is my vagina normal?” brings up over 3 million google results. So, let’s talk about that. First of all, yes, your vagina is probably normal. Vulvas come in all kinds of shapes, sizes, and colors and odds are yours is unique and perfectly fine. There is a vast difference between the terms “normal” and “healthy” and it is important to make that distinction.
what's a rape kit?-- project consent
When I was a college RA I handled a lot of sexual assault cases where victims didn't want to have a rape kit done because they weren't sure what to expect. Neither was I. So I found out.
to move forward we have to go back to sex ed-- cherry bombe
All of this illustrates that somewhere along the line, we fail pretty much everyone in regard to sexual assault awareness and prevention. The anecdotes have been gut wrenching, and the numbers of those affected are immense. It is hard to look at this massive and deep problem we have created and see a way out. But by providing vocabulary and resources through education we can begin to chip away at the systemic problem and change rape culture.
sex ed should teach girls sexual pleasure-- BUST
In my eighth grade health class, we learned that for girls sex had three outcomes. Either we would contract an STD, become pregnant, or fall into unrequited love with our partner and have our hearts broken. Sex was talked about in extremes and consequences. There was no room for pleasure, no in-depth discussion of female genitalia, no conversation about sex for LGBTQ students.
you need to stop hitting on your server-- BUST
Often this behavior is dismissed as “bar culture” or just part of the job, but the expectation that a customer can or should withhold a worker’s pay if that worker isn’t willing to engage in a flirtation that makes the worker uncomfortable, is unacceptable.
the john hughes effect-- BUST
There is really no denying it, love makes us, all of us, do crazy things. But where do we draw the line between the innocent final shot at love, and full-on harassment? For men and women, that line seems to be very different. If you were to consult John Hughes or any of his leading men, the line before men cross into full on stalkers comes somewhere after they show up unannounced at your house, boom box over head.
frank-- peaches lit mag
My grief is not comparable to those who were closest to him. In talking about it I straddle a line between striving for attention and being insensitive. How can I convey that I really cared about this person, really appreciated that time we spent without making it seem like I am just trying to claim my share of pain and without making it into something it wasn’t? Am I even entitled to that pain? I believe there is an episode of Sex and the City where Miranda attends the funeral of a one-night stand.
snake eyes: the power to turn the patriarchy to stone-- bitch media
This piece on rereading Greek mythology through a feminist lens was published in bitch media's Revenge issue, winter of 2018. It is only available in print. (And on a giant framed version in the author's parents' house.)
my father the deer hunter-- storm cellar
A short story about a father, a daughter, and the dead deer hanging between them.